My Boys Can't Swim

A male character learns that his sperm are defective.

Frasier

Appearances

• Barney Miller: Season 8, episode 1, "Paternity" (1981). When Wojo is hit with a paternity suit, he gets tested and finds out he's sterile because his sperm don't "wiggle" like they're supposed to.
• Night Court: Season 4, episode 12, "Murder" (1987). Dan wants to donate his sperm for money, but the sperm bank tells him his sperm are "slow and immature," and to fix the problem, he has to abstain from sex for two weeks.
• Murphy Brown: Season 1, episode 6, "Baby Love" (1988). When Frank decides to donate his sperm to Murphy, he finds out his sperm are non-motile, and the only way he could get Murphy pregnant is the old fashioned way.
• Seinfeld: Season 6, episode 4, "The Chinese Woman" (1994). When Elaine tells Kramer he should switch from jockeys to boxers if he ever wants to have children, he goes to the doctor and is shocked to discover that he has a low sperm count.
• Spin City: Season 3, episode 21, "The Last Temptation of Mike" (1999). In a budget meeting, mayor says he's disappointed that he and his staff never discuss personal matters with each other, so Paul announces to everyone that he has "non-motile sperm." Later, Paul explains to Mike that he and Claudia are trying to have a baby, but his's lazy swimmers are making it difficult.
• Frasier: Season 11, episode 1, "No Sex Please, We're Skittish" (2003). Niles and Daphne are trying to have a baby, and when Frasier reminds him that he made a donation to a sperm bank when he was in college, Niles goes to the bank to find out if his sperm was ever used, and the bank tells him his sperm was discarded because of "low motility."